The last couple of months have been grim. It was bound to be stressful: a new job, a move, and a departure (under friendly terms) from the company I founded back in 2008.

Unfortunately, things became a lot darker than that. I went on a trip in order to do some spiritual work, including some important forward motion on Lovers Grove. When all the rocks stopped falling, Chuck had left the grove, our friendship destroyed, my confidence in my ability to approach spirituality or be open shaken.

I've spent time trying to put myself back together, slowly reaching out to Venus and other gods, reclaiming my spirit and my confidence as I built a new life in a new location. To be clear, the new location is still in the Boston area, and my friends have been very supportive.

Writing non-fiction has been beyond my capability. I tried; I just couldn't make it work. In part, I couldn't be that open. To my horror, I discovered in my new job that my lack of confidence extended to technical writing. What might once have taken me a day to put together took a week in reality.

Things are getting better. I'm more committed than ever to the ideas behind Lovers Grove, although I have no idea how I might put them into practice. I need to find people to work with; that will happen or not in time.

I have a lot I want to share, including some wonderful sacred lover work at Beltane this year. I'm regaining confidence, regaining my voice. You will start hearing from me again.

The Bright Spot

I spent a lot of time in my own head, trying to fight the shame I felt, trying to find the confidence to be open. Fiction writing was as affected as anything else. However, it was easier to slowly pry at regaining that. I'm working on a novel-length work in the Light of Passion universe. Fortunately, around the time that as they would say in that universe, things turned to shit, I had reached the darkest point in the plot. So finding the characters proved easy. A lot of this is what seems to be my best writing so far.

I've reached a point where I'd love to find some beta readers and possibly some folks who would help with world building. Some of it is that I could use more feedback. Some of it is that I'm never going to be the best at color or visual descriptions (especially of facial expressions); I can find my intent but working with someone to realize that intent is really helpful. Some of it is that I'd love to be able to discuss implications of calendars, technology, culture, and the like with someone and build a better universe.

You could argue about whether this is erotica. There is a lot of quite explicit sex, but for me, it's about an interesting universe struggling to be open, about characters facing their personal growth, and a culture facing a cusp in their technical development. The sex is important, and I don't plan to tone that down, but I'd like to think the story and characters would stand on their own if you found a way to tell it without the sex.

If you'd be interested in helping, please drop me a line. Feel free to check out some of what I've written already to make sure you like my approach.